Wednesday, March 17

The legacy of St Patrick

Patrick arrived in Ireland, captured as a slave, and was made to tend sheep high on the hills of Antrim. He was often cold and hungry and displeased with his lot in life. Then one night he had a vision of what life could be like and determined to change his destiny.

It was not for him to take orders especially from the shepherd's wife. Acting on his vision he turned her over his knee and gave her a sound spanking until she agreed to free him.

Pleased with this outcome Patrick decided to convert the rest of the land to his way of thinking. Picking up a long crooked handled cane off he went about the land preaching his message of order and obedience and consequences.


He had more than one way to explain to the men how to subdue their womenfolk. In one much lauded incident he picked up some shamrock and used each of the three leaves to show the rituals that come together to make a spanking effective: the bare bottomed girl, the positioning over lap or furniture and the implement of choice.

Of course it was his practical demonstrations, or miracles as they became known, that were of most interest. Such ways made men eager to follow him and practice what he preached. Any young maiden who disagreed with his teachings was put across his lap and his hard hand applied to her bare bottom until she listened to reason.

Or in the case of a particularly rebellious girl, often ones with flaming red hair and tempers to match, over a rock she would be held, to feel the burning pain of his cane.

So successful was Patrick that he was decreed a saint and a special day given over to his memory. One in which girls are given every opportunity to be naughty and give their menfolk the slightest excuse to punish them. Such is the popularity of this day, it is celebrated the world over and many a young lady gets the spanking she deserves.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

7 comments:

Paul said...

EmmaJane, I love your version of the St Patrick myth, much more entertaining than the original.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
Blog word swati :D

Master Retep said...

Right, that proves it. Such perversion of a national institution, and on this of all days. You are definitely an out-and-out pervert. (And you confirmed it further when you told me that you probably wouldn't have a drink today - shock, horror).

Irelynn said...

"A particularly rebellious girl, often ones with flaming red hair and tempers to match..."

Are you trying to get me caned? Well, are you?

EmmaJane said...

@Irelynn If the cap fits... hee hee - can we convince Lucy to do a St Patrick Day special for next year starring you??

Indy said...

Are you sure you weren't drinking when you wrote this?!

Karl Friedrich Gauss said...

Emma Jane. I just noticed your heading and accents on the blog are green. Was it always thus?

And btw when you mentioned the flaming red hair I, for one, did really think of Irelynn!

Abel1234 said...

No wonder the snakes all fled... in fear of being caned.

Such a funny post!