Now as I've said many a time on here I was reading SW for years before I meet the authors. In all that time I always thought of Haron as a bottomy type. She was so clearly labeled as such for me that it might have come as a major shock to discover this toppy side of her. Except I never got the chance to know anything else. The first time I met her she caned me! In fact she was the first woman to cane me or put me over her knee and the first Domme type that I really wanted to play with.
So I for one have very much enjoyed the joys of Haron topping. Whether it be solo or with Abel. Not to mention that great triple scene at Easter. You know things are bad when you've got both HH and Abel in a scene and yet the person who's scaring you the most is the one half their size!
You only have to look at this picture to understand why...
I was in serious pain, crying and screaming the place down and she's looking me in the eye and smirking at me. The epitome of cruel!(I've been dying for Haron to out herself as Adele so I could finally post this picture)
As Haron recounts her adventures with the lovely Boy Crush I wonder will that ever be me? Will I ever be toppy, a full blown switch?
By now I've spanked and caned and strapped a few people (all fool hardy enough to put themselves in my way!) But that's always been in some semblance of fun and mostly in front of other people. And always just because I can. Truth is I like inflicting pain (to willing people obviously!) and being mean. I like being unfair and giving nasty surprises and teasing the victim. I really just think it's great sport.
As Graham noted on her blog over the weekend, when I caned her (on a very spurious excuse one must admit!) it was all about me, not her. I was enjoying making pretty lines on her lovely bottom, trying to deliver strokes that landed on top of each other, making little welts and marvelling at how she just lay there and took it all. It was tremendously satisfying work! And all because I could - what a power trip.
So I suspect that if I do eventually transition to top I'll be a very evil type. Not that I've been short of great female toppy rolemodels; Haron, Jessica, Miss Cavendish to name a few. But they are mostly kind and considerate tops. Even Haron at her cruelest generally redeems herself. I reckon I'd probably be more like Juliet, except she'd be my normal modus operandi, not the once in a alter ego. Getting off on the pleasure of making someone suffer, just because I can.
So just as well I'm not ready to become a top yet. I may just be too evil. Or else too much of a brat at heart!
12 comments:
Um, please don't turn top. At least not near me :-)
Not sure I could cope with full on Emma Jane evilness!
Interesting perspective on topping, Emma Jane. It seems to be all the rage these days for female bottoms to fantasize about topping, or even actually do it. That's such a sweet picture. Haron looks so "caring", your commentary notwithstanding. So much for photos never lying!
@Eliane, don't worry you;re safe for now ;)
@Karl, well I'd look at the pic one more time - pulling someone by the hair with that smirk is hardly caring.
As for it 'being all the rage' for bottoms to fantasise about topping I think that's a little flippant. It actually seems to be a very natural progression as people grow and evolve in TTWD. Not jsut a hat of the moment.
Nor is it something that people like Haron are merely fantasising about: it's an actual and fulfilling part of kinky life, for both her and her sub.
@Karl - you've been asking both Adele and Emma to reflect on the causes of their toppy feelings. Maybe you could consider turning that introspection back on yourself - why is your first instinct to label them as fantasising submissive females, rather than potential switches or dommes taking early steps towards growing into their new roles?
Maybe you'll switch, hon, and maybe you won't, but I hope you have fun whatever you do.
I like scaring you :)
I really like this post a lot! Unlike most Lowewood readers (or at least those who commented) I'd rather be dealt with by Jessica than by Juliet, but I'd love to see evil Emma Jane in action!
Catherine, Emma Jane, you may be quite right. What do I know after all. I guess I somehow assumed that fantasizing comes before doing, but in these cases, it may well be otherwise.
Flippant? Moi? I should realize this is all a very serious matter!
@Karl: It's funny, but I sort of assumed that "flippant" was EJ's euphemism for "patronising" after you had (in essence) said she was being unoriginal in jumping on the topping bandwagon. It's not that everything - or even most things - about TTWD should be deadly serious, but your most recent blog comments have smacked of mysogyny and negativity. It would be really nice if you'd show some basic respect rather than sneering.
@Emma Jane, sorry if I've offended you by implying you're unoriginal. It's not what I intended to do. I guess what I intended was more of a general observation. And I wasn't thinking particularly of how you might take it. Insensitive of me, perhaps. Again, sorry if I've offended you.
@Catherine, not sure what other comments you're referring to, but I can't think of any comments in which I was sneering. I guess my overall approach is trying to tease out what's going on psychologically with the appeal and culture of spanking, from the points of view of all parties involved.
No doubt some of my observations may have been politically incorrect. But the whole culture of spanking itself is built around politically incorrect practices, so I'm at a bit of a loss to know quite where you're coming from with what you say.
Let me just say in closing that I like women and I'm not trying to be negative or to put anyone down.
So I read this post, went away to think about it, and came back again, still without any concrete ideas as to what I want to say. So please excuse my unstructured rambling. ;-)
Firstly, that's such a nice picture!
Secondly, I can relate to your wonderment about the prettiness of the marks you inflicted. I topped a guy once and left very pretty red lines on his back with a flogger. It's a bit ridiculous how happy I was with them really! I also take great pleasure in making other people squirm, just because I can.
Where you and I are definitely different is that I'm not that evil a top. I like making people squirm and leaving pretty marks on their bottom, but I don't want them to be in too much pain, probably because I haven't found a way to be comfortable with that yet. At a certain point my conscience kicks in and talks to me in this mean voice, and that's usually when I decide my subject has had enough. ;-) This is funny in a way because my mind is quite capable of thinking up the most horrific scenarios. I just can't seem to carry them out in practice for some reason.
Okay, that's the end of my rambling. I just wanted to leave a comment of my own after reading because this is such an interesting post. Thanks for sharing!
@Catherine, if you want, we can continue this discussion by email. Email me: gauss AT gmx DOT com
I've now been spanked by several people, and I can't think of anyone who expressed more blatant delight at the act of beating me than you. AND you're a sadist-voyeur, cause I can't think of any witnesses who've narrated a thrashing of mine with such unrestrained glee, either.
Yes, you are evil. EVIL. But at least you know it ; )
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