Monday, October 12

A 24/7 lifestyle?

In my fantasy world, I'm not in charge, the toppy/disciplinarian type is. They give orders, I obey or get punished if I don't. It goes without saying that the toppy type is always right and fair and has my best interests at heart. That's how it works. It's for my own good.

But for all my fantasising, I know that's all it is, a fantasy. Sure, a very small part of me would like to live that lifestyle. Why not, it's warm, safe and cosy. Except my realistic side knows that ultimately it's not something that would fulfill me 24/7.

I actually like being in control, organising everyone and bossing them all about. I take pride in being independent and responsible. I like achieving things on my own merit. And I also delight in saying 'feck it anyway' and being silly and crazy just for the sake of it! And I'm well capable of fighting my own battles. Just sometimes it's nice to have someone there to do it for you, or to lean on when you need it.

And whatever about the fact I know it wouldn't fulfill me submitting to someone else's authority all the time, I doubt I'd be able to manage it anyway. Finding that balance of submission and control between two people in everyday life is difficult to maintain.

For me personally, the only way it could possibly work was if I wrote the toppy type a never ending list of do's and don't and exceptions to the rule, which I updated on a weekly basis.

I'd imagine it'd go something like this

Rule 1 - Emma Jane will be punished if she stays up late online on a school night
Exceptions to the above include but are not limited to:

Providing comfort to a friend in need;
Chatting to her sister who's in a different time zone;
Writing a blog post due the next day;
If she figures she has a pretty easy day ahead at work the next day so staying up late won't matter and she can always go in a bit late anyway, sure she's been working all hours lately.

Hmmm, I think the toppy type would break long before I would. So best for all concerned if I keep my bratting and submission to defined periods of play where we can both escape from it afterwards!


Scarlett De Winter said...

How about we build a really toppy robot, who looks like Clive Owen, and can be programed?

Kami Robertson said...

Fair enough ;)

But I exactly understand what you mean. There are some day when I feel so bloody envious when I think about any girl that is in some kind of D/s relation, when I wish there was someone there to take charge of my life. But on the other hand there are days when I would just get crazy if someone tried to boss me around telling when to study, when to go to bed etc.
Updating rules every week? For me rather every day LOL

Does it mean you are feeling better? :)