Monday, March 29

The Jolliest Half-term!

Well dearest readers I hope you'll keep what follows to yourself. We wouldn't want the likes of Mr S or Rev J or any of the other Lowewood masters to find out what went on when Lowewood went wild in Dublin!

I was very excited to have Jessica, Sylvie, Rebecca and Beth visiting. Even more so I had blagged a free apartment for the weekend. If the teachers thought we were all staying with my parents what can I say, we may have misled them in some small way! It was an awful shame Jemima couldn't make it after all. Some excuse was made about having to supervise workmen but we can all guess that Jemima had even more fun lined up back home ;-)

Still we made a nice gang, very fetching in our brand new Lowewood Academy hoodies. We got many admiring looks and glances and endless questions about our school.

The weekend started in flying form as we each purchased several bottles of wine and spent Friday evening getting nicely tipsy and giggly. It was so lovely to catch up and be naughty without fear of being interrupted by the teachers.

Of course despite our high spirits we were up early the next day to get some of that culture we're always being told about. We saw some old book in Trinity College and spent ages in the gift shop trying to find naughty presents. And upon leaving we couldn't resist disobeying the sign and standing on the grass anyway!

In an effort to curry favour with Mr S we decided to visit the Georgian museum and see what life was like when he was a boy. It was very interesting but we couldn't find any canes or straps and even the governess didn't have as much as a hairbrush. We very kindly sent all the teachers a very polite postcard telling them how much we missed them (which wasn't very much at all!)

And one girl amongst us did a very naughty thing indeed but I can't possibly tell you what - let's just hope no-one ever finds out!

After a lovely lunch in a Church (chosen so we could truthfully tell Rev J we had been in one) we headed back to doll ourselves up for a night out.

It was a close call when we got to the pub and were asked for ID, perhaps the short school skirts and hoodies gave us away but luckily we managed to coax our way in. I was keen to introduce my fellow schoolmates to my local friends and they all got on famously.

The night ended with us partying the night away at Nimhneach. Truth be told I was flying high with the excitement of having everyone in my home club and danced and skipped about the place with gay abandon.

Unfortunately I manged to get myself into a fair amount of trouble over the course of the night. The teachers from my former school (It's for your own good) the beautiful Chalk and the evil Mr Dastardly weren't pleased that I'd been posting 'nudey' pictures on the t'internet. Along with the wonderful Officer Jizzle I was taught the error of my ways through a very harsh flogging. I meekly promised it would never happen again and was glad to finally be released.

Then Master Retep insisted on strapping me for some misdemeanour or other. As if that wasn't enough the London Tanner himself insisted on giving me a very painful rebate on the paddle I bought from him, half off has never been so unappealing!

My fellow schoolmates also managed to find themselves in trouble too and it was late in the night before we made our escape. All too soon the nexr day came and we treated ourselves to breakdfast at the aptly named Queen of Tarts, before I sadly had to let the girls leave.

But what a jolly trip it had been!

Sunday, March 21

To my brave delurker...

Google decreed this was too long to be a comment, so here is my response to Cat's lovely and interesting comment on this post. Would love to hear from the rest of you lovely peeps on this.


Hello Cat

Thank you so much for commenting and well done for de-lurking! I really do understand how hard it is to do. But now you've done it once don't be afraid to do it again.

And I'm really thrilled that you chose my blog to speak for the first time, it's a real blogging highlight for me :)

As for my response, well Abel and Eliane have given you some great advice already. But I'll add my two cents in anyway.

You'll prob know from your reading, that most of us have always had an interest in spanking. Even if we didn't know what 'it' was or what we 'wanted'. And we've all been in the position of thinking we were the only people in the world to think like that. And I bet, like Eliane and I before you, that you always felt you'd never get to try it. That you'd never get to play like all those people with their blogs and their stories.

But the first step is admitting this is what you're into and that it's nothing to be ashamed of. Second step is reaching out - to someone, even if just to talk about it. The third is to make it happen for you.

And as you have discovered, there are many ways to live and experience this thing we do. From regular playdates, to a marriage where such play is a life style, to attending clubs, to domestic discipline to group play.

If you were unattached I'd be suggesting joining Fetlife, finding people and groups in your area. Commenting on blogs of people in your area. Striking up conversations!

But as you're engaged and presumably very happy about it and not wanting to do anything outside of your relationship then I'd suggest telling him about it, in slow subtle steps. Do you ever watch Scrubs? There's an episode in it where the Janitor is trying to tell his girlfriend about his various 'hobbies' but tells her too much to quickly. As Carla advises 'don't tell all your crazy at once'.

And not that this is crazy but you have to be prepared for the fact it could be a shock to him. You've been trying to understand and reconcile yourself to this for a long time. So start with hints. And one of the best ways is when you're being intimate with each other. I was first spanked by my vanilla ex-boyfriend. Very early in our relationship we were having sex and I encouraged him to be rough with me. Encouraging him more until he slapped me gently on my bottom. I made it clear I liked this and he did it again. Afterwards I told how much I'd liked it. Bit by bit I told him more, gauging his reaction, ready to pull out of the conversation if he closed it down.

And once I had his interest and he understood it was something I really wanted and needed I gave him websites and stories to read that helped explain just what I was into. In time we played out scenes and explored what worked for each other. We had a very successful semi-kinky relationship for a few years, (it dissolved for other reasons) all based on compromise. He never liked hurting me, never enjoyed making me cry, never became a top or a dom, but he grew to like how I reacted, and to understand this is what I needed and that it made me a happier person and did he cos he loved me. I compromised by pulling back on some of the things I wanted to do that he wouldn't have been comfortable with.

Abel and Eliane have also given some other great advice for how to bring this up. At the end of the day you know him best. You'll know the right way to mention it, how far too push it. Explain how you feel and why you crave this - don't just tell him you want to be beaten for the sake of it.

As for whether you'll enjoy it or not, well that can only be answered one way. My tastes and interests continually evolve but when I started out a gentle hand spanking was all I needed. The being spanked was enough then. And my non-kinky, non-toppy boyfriend was well capable of administering it. And we went on from there. There's loads of advice on how to give a spanking and how to communicate with your partner to make it work for both of you. But that's a whole other issue right now and one we can talk about later :)

So given that I seem to be able to control you with my words (:-P) off you go now and think about how you're going to broach this, then start the conversation gently. And don't forget to let me know how it goes. My email address in on the blog too if you want to move to direct chatting.

EJ xxx

Saturday, March 20

Luck of the Irish

Who's a lucky girl? Well that would be me!

I've got some very dear friends staying for the weekend and after an evening of chat and giggling they are all soundly asleep. Only I am awake. Reflecting on the wonder of friendship, kink and connection.

And thinking of some lovely girlie's who aren't here, but certainly present in spirit. Eliane my lovely girl, Scarlett my incorrigible brat and Cath my twin!

I've had a shit week at work - causing me to cry twice and culminating in a meeting with our HR department on Monday.Wish me luck! But for now I'm relaxed and happy.Safe in the knowledge that I'm loved and cared for and people will actually make an effort to come see me. Are excited to be on my turf!

And we've so much fun in store. Wearing our brand new Lowewood Academy hoodies we'll be wandering around this beautiful city and then taking Nimhneach by storm in the evening. I'm doubly excited to see my Irish friends whom I've missed so much, as well as to go ensemble as a Lowewood girl. And I want to be beaten; whipped, caned, paddled. Break me if you can. Watch the fire in my eyes. Witness me fly.

Lucky. Very lucky. That's me :)

Thursday, March 18

It was the day after St Patrick's Day...

...and I was a little worse for wear. At the last minute (8:55) I text my boss and asked for the day off and he obliged. Just as well as I wouldn't have made it out of bed and into work in 5 minutes.

I had a nice lie-in and when I could sleep no-more I opened my laptop and caught up with the online world - Fetlife, Caroline's Blog, Spanking Writers, Lowewood Academy.

At this stage I had been active in the Irish scene from late October 2008, going to Nimhneach every month and a regular socialiser on Fetlife. But I was still very shy online. Lurking on all the sites I'd been reading for years and afraid to comment. I just about had the courage to comment on Caroline's blog, and that was just cos I knew her!

But when I spotted Abel had joined Fetlife I felt bold enough to say hi. I always figure that people are on Fetlife to meet other kinksters and it's safe enough that you can reach out to someone and if they don't reply well that's OK; no-one else will know. Not like a comment conspicuously on a blog for all to see.

Anyway I did say hi and below is exactly what I wrote. It might look bright and breezy but I agonised over every word. Although I may have over done it on the ego stroking. But hey it worked!

Now don't go telling Abel, but I was very excited when he replied a short while later, and the conversation went on from there. That was a year ago today and the start of a very exciting journey into the next stage of my kinky adventures that would bring me on to meet some very dear people: you know who you are.

So kids the moral of this story is: pluck up the courage and reach out. And if you don't know what to say you can copy my words below. It just might be the start of some very beautiful friendships!

Hi Abel,

Welcome to Fetlife, your profile pic made me smile. I presume that's your own collection?

I have been following your blog for years. It was probably one of the first blogs I ever started to read when I started out on the Interent! I still remember how excited I was to think that there were other people who were into the same things as me, discipline, rolepay and school scenes to name a few :)

Oh and I have to thank you and Haron for pointing me towards Lowewood Academy, I'm pretty much addicted to it and read every update exactly at 12 each day. I have a suspicion that you both write for it ;) Anyway the quality of writing and plotlines is excellent!

After years lurking on the Internet I finally got active on a few sites last September and got invlved in the public scene in Ireland. Have met some great people and had a lot of fun ;)

Anyway I'll stop rambling on now (it is the morning after St Patrick's Day here)I just wanted to say hi and if your travels take you to Dublin I'd love to hear from you.


Emma Jane

Wednesday, March 17

The legacy of St Patrick

Patrick arrived in Ireland, captured as a slave, and was made to tend sheep high on the hills of Antrim. He was often cold and hungry and displeased with his lot in life. Then one night he had a vision of what life could be like and determined to change his destiny.

It was not for him to take orders especially from the shepherd's wife. Acting on his vision he turned her over his knee and gave her a sound spanking until she agreed to free him.

Pleased with this outcome Patrick decided to convert the rest of the land to his way of thinking. Picking up a long crooked handled cane off he went about the land preaching his message of order and obedience and consequences.

He had more than one way to explain to the men how to subdue their womenfolk. In one much lauded incident he picked up some shamrock and used each of the three leaves to show the rituals that come together to make a spanking effective: the bare bottomed girl, the positioning over lap or furniture and the implement of choice.

Of course it was his practical demonstrations, or miracles as they became known, that were of most interest. Such ways made men eager to follow him and practice what he preached. Any young maiden who disagreed with his teachings was put across his lap and his hard hand applied to her bare bottom until she listened to reason.

Or in the case of a particularly rebellious girl, often ones with flaming red hair and tempers to match, over a rock she would be held, to feel the burning pain of his cane.

So successful was Patrick that he was decreed a saint and a special day given over to his memory. One in which girls are given every opportunity to be naughty and give their menfolk the slightest excuse to punish them. Such is the popularity of this day, it is celebrated the world over and many a young lady gets the spanking she deserves.

Happy St Patrick's Day!

Tuesday, March 16

End of a fantasy

I've decided that religious fantasies no longer work for me. Back when I first talked to HH I was keen to act out some sort of bishop and priest play. We even worked out scenarios.

But not long after that discussion we had the Ryan (and subsequently the Murphy) report and the horrors of abuse in the Catholic Church in Ireland that are detailed within them. I blogged about the Ryan report at the time, being unsettled and shamed of having fantasies along similar lines. But after much discussion and looking inwards I moved on from that. Accepted it didn't make me a bad person. And I agree with HH when he says we take inspiration from all the horrors of history, taking out the hot bits, without excusing or condoning what was done.

Those reports are not why I've decided religious play is a limit now. It's sparked by something that has just come to light in our media here and in part by comments on my nudity post.

Indy and Irelynn commented that they don't find nudity hot in play as they don't want 'being naked' to be something to be made feel ashamed of. They consciously are not allowing it to have power over them, even though being naked is not actually a problem for them. I found this rationale very interesting and have been mulling over it.

And maybe that's helped me to come to this realisation. I have decided religion is not something to be used in scenes as I refuse to afford religious figures the right to any power over me, even if it's fictional.

This is because of the lack of leadership and backbone the leaders of our church had displayed throughout the abuse and its uncovering. It has been revealed that the head of the Catholic Church in Ireland here made two children swear to secrecy about the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parish priest. Back in 1975 they were made to swear to tell no-one whilst the priest got moved on to another parish and abused more children for a further 16 years.

As horrific as the abuse is, I find the cover up equally horrific. Even more so that Cardinal Daly and the Church refuse to admit he did anything wrong. Authority figures have always been hot for me, but these men don't deserve such respect.

Monday, March 15

Blogging: How do you do yours?

Master Retep just posted on my last blog entry that it had 'a nice, clean, calm lucidity about it'.

I thought this was a very interesting observation. I certainly feel that by and large I have two main approaches to blogging. The one Master Retep alludes to is very much 'spur of the moment musing'. A thought strikes me and I want to write it up. Often somethings out of nothing, some vanilla interaction or maybe inspiration from a blog or tweet. Or if I'm writing up a scene experience immediately after it has happened.

These types of posts can usually be written up in twenty minutes. It's like the words just flow from my fingers and I wonder how I ever found this blogging lark so difficult.

On the other hand many of my posts are what I'd called 'forced'. They take at least an hour to write as I edit and rewrite several times trying to get to that flow and expressiveness that seems to come so naturally to the spur of the moment posts.

Often forced posts are as a result of needing to blog something. That feeling of guilt about having a neglected blog, The self importance of thinking I have readers clamouring to hear my latest profound thoughts.

This type of blogging is also associated with writing about great playdates that just have to be written up for posterity. Alas all too often the writing happens well after the event when the excitement has faded and I struggle to recount the tale eloquently without resorting to a 'Whack...ow...whack...ow' style.

But most of all this type of blogging is part and parcel of writing Winterbrook. Trying to come up with plot lines and character development and include the attention to detail that ties in the other characters is hard enough, never mind writing the actual story. And then there's the pressure of such a collaborative project - tying in with everyone else and having to write the story to keep up with the other characters.

Still I must admit I do love this blogging lark and whether it's forced, random or sporadic, I'm happy to be writing and chuffed to be read.

So how do you do yours?

Sunday, March 14

Do you feel good naked?

Indy has just posted her thoughts on nudity in the context of spanking which I found very interesting. Having posted a long comment there I thought I'd thrash my comment out further here.

While Indy doesn't like nudity in scenes and is not into it as a form of humiliation, the opposite is true for me. In the main I feel nudity has a place in play, but that very much depends on the scene.

First off I should say I'm not shy about being naked - a regular sports player when I was younger, coupled with being one of many girls growing up at home, I was never precious about stripping off in front of other people, even when I didn't feel as confident about my body as I'd like to have been. (I am female after all!)

So in reality being told to take off my clothes is not a big deal for me. And as witnessed at Eliane's spanking orgy - I mean party - I can even encourage others to take their clothes off too! So the short of it is being naked isn't a big deal, yet I still find it can work very well in a scene.

Although funnily enough outside of roleplay scenes I don't like to be naked - always finding some form of clothing far more erotic, especially wearing all that pretty underwear we kinky girls are so obsessed with.

One such scene where nudity worked very well was one in which I was a newly purchased slave waiting for my new owner - having to wait in position naked I was very conscious of my nudity and what it meant. Being naked and exposed and expected to submit to his touch and his whips. And my nakedness was even further enhanced when a collar was placed around my neck - covering me completely emotionally, but leaving me bare physically.

In other scenes having to take off my clothing is a real headspace amplifier. But starting fully clothed is very important. This works well in prison inductions or reformatory scenes where the forced removal of clothing can be very symbolic.

However, like Indy, I agree there are certain roles that should not involve nudity, such as schoolgirls or parental/guardian/Uncle scenes. If one is striving for authenticity then discretion and modesty are paramount.

The only exception to this are those dark edgy scenes that move out of the boundaries of fair and for-your-own-good punishments. And having to strip off under the gaze of a stranger is the first indication this is not a routine punishment.

I ended my comment saying the biggest thing about nudity is that my play partner should always be fully clothed - no matter what the scene! I think for me it comes down to the point that the wearing of clothes symbolises power; power over the person who is naked, which is no doubt why I think being nkaed works me for .

Still I'm a little amazed at how strongly I feel about this and am curious as to what the rest of you think?

Saturday, March 13

Your Kink is OK

A few days ago Lollipop and I were enjoying a catch-up over dinner and doughnuts (mmmm doughnuts). We hadn't seen each other in over a week and there was so much information to exchange.

In the midst of telling her about my last weekend with HH I opened up the cheer leading photos on my laptop to show her. When showing her such kinky photos I tend to show her only the outfits - she likes those as much as I do and loves helping me plan what to wear. So I tend not to show her any of my bottom, but as we flicked through the photos we came across a few by accident.

She was really fine with it and not at all phased, whereas I feel uncomfortable 'subjecting' her to pics of my naked bottom. I'm not so sure I'd be as tolerant of pics of her naked bottom - as lovely as I'm sure it would be. But I only like kinky bottoms, i.e. ones that are marked, or in nice panties about to be spanked. The kinky context makes it OK to see my friends' bottoms, but otherwise it would feel weird.

My hypocracy became even more apparent when we then got into a spirited argument about Lollipop wanting to dye her hair turquoise. After much back and forth I finally giggled: 'you can't, it'd just be too weird'

There was a sudden pause until we both burst out in uncontrollable laughter and I voiced what she was thinking. 'OK, it's not as weird as dressing up in a school uniform and letting someone beat me to tears, of course'

Hmmm I should probably at least try to be more tolerant!

Thursday, March 11


Will it be a sound spanking with his 'oh so hard' hand?

Or will it be a belt taken off slowly and deliberately to be applied swiftly?

Or perhaps a short, sharp caning, painting lines across my bottom?

Will I have been naughty? Or bratty? Or mean? Or will it be just because I needed it?

Will I be me, or a schoolgirl, or a prisoner, or a reformatory inmate?

Will I cry out? Will there be tears? Will there be marks?

Just a few hours until I find out. My senses tingle in anticipation...

Friday, March 5

When dreams become nightmares!

I've been having lots of kinky dreams lately. Maybe it's cos I'm having two kink-free weekends in a row and my subconscious is over compensating?

Most of them have been rather delicious. My fav one takes place at Jessica's house. In the dream it's my birthday and I'm called into the living room to face all the regular toppy types of my acquaintance including HWMBO, The Lover, HH and Abel. They tell me I'm about to get a birthday punishment and then spend ages arranging me over a large armchair. When I'm fully secured they leave me alone in the room to await the punishment. Even now I can feel the delicious feeling of anticipation as I waited until they came back.

Unfortunately I woke before I could actually be punished. Still, it was a great dream and my imagination has concluded it several different ways already!

So yes I've been really enjoying these kinky dreams. Or at least I was until the one I had the other night. It squicked me so much it's painful to even write about it. But as it's still far too vivid for comfort I'm hoping that by blogging it the images seared onto my mind will dissipate.

In the dream I'm at home. Not sure what age I am, but not a young child - most likely in very late teens. My mother sends me to my room to wait for her and I know I'm going to be spanked. Again I can feel the anticipation of waiting for punishment, but this is with real dread, not the excitement of play.

When my mother arrives in my room she orders me to bare my bottom and bend over her knee. I do so, feeling shame and embarrassment. But as she starts to spank me with her hand she mortifies me by saying, 'I know you really enjoy being spanked..'

At that point I thankfully managed to wake myself up. It freaked me out on so many levels I barely know where to start. For one, I was never formally spanked at home by either parent. We'd occasionally get a few random slaps but nothing formal. So it's not that I'm remembering actual childhood spankings.

The fact it's my mother, not my father, is even creepier for some reason. She's very young as mothers go, my parents being only teenagers when I was born. Add to that I'm the eldest of several other children, all considerably younger than me, so I've nearly always been the third parent and still am! So me getting punished like that, and no doubt being heard by younger siblings is inconceivable.

And then there's the whole she knows I'm kinky. Not so much that she knows. I really don't think she'll care and is possibly kinky herself. But that she uses the knowledge to humiliate me. To the point where I was wishing I wasn't, that I was ashamed of who I am. That's the bit that makes me most queasy.

As is that burning image of me bare bottomed over my mother's knee as she spanks me. It's almost enough to cure my kink.