Wednesday, January 6

Where for art thou kink?

It hasn't been the best start of the year kink wise. A realisation brought into focus by reading Jessica's post today, where the poor sweetie was talking of how she hasn't been well enough to play or even have orgasms over the past fortnight. And while I empathised with her plight, I couldn't help thinking I was having the opposite problem.

I'm not at all in the mood to play. My kink mojo is scarily absent. Too much time amongst the vanillas over the holiday period? The fear that 2010 surely cannot beat 2009 for kinky wonderfulness? Being nervous of the gorgeous but terrifying tawse Abel and Haron got me for Christmas?

Of course not that I've had any opportunities to actually play in the past few weeks. But there's nothing unusual about that and I normally spend the in-between periods thinking of scenes I'd like to play, fantasising about the particular kinky mood I'm in and engaging in prolonged conversations with upcoming playmates about what we'll do. And despite my, ahem, collection of personal toys, none of them have been used lately.

Nor have I been enjoying my kinky reading habit in the same way. I've been reading alright, but not having my normal reactions. Like Adele's 12 Days of Christmas Spanking saga made me feel sorry for her! Eliane's tweets about her new canes had me thinking why on earth did she buy them if she thinks they're so brutal. Then there's Kami and HH's descriptions of a caning in the snow that made me think they were both crazy (despite what HH made me do in the snow not two weeks previously!) Or worst of all reading Abel's wonderful story today and thinking 'oh no, a birching just for throwing a snowball, poor girl!'

Even my own writing is affected. The Secret Saturday 'Secret Places' story came from the mindset I happen to be in right now. The fact it's a dark, almost anti-spanking story, is no coincidence.

All leading me to look ahead to my weekend with HH and think of hugs and nice chats and long walks and not any spanking at all. Obviously he will completely respect how I'm feeling and won't push me to play. But I really hope Emma Jane the brat will shout down moany, whingy Emma Jane and lead to the spanking which just might fix this strange start to the kinky year!


Eliane said...

:-( Oh dear... I hope the kink will come back to you, asap. And mine seems to be somewhat absent as well, so if you pass it on your travels, send it back, would you?

As for the canes... what can I say? It seemed like a good idea at the time...!

Master Retep said...

I think you and Eliane should both put it down to the weather.

Henry Higgins said...

You know that all you have to do is to be moany and whingy at the airport. You had your warning last time. Any trouble this time and I'll bare your bottom at the roadside and use the hairbrush that's waiting on the back seat.


Indy said...

@ EJ-- the year is still young, and so are you. I know you'll have much more to tell us, and I look forward to reading it.

It is interesting reading your "vanilla" reactions, which aren't so far from my kinky responses, if truth be told! If I couldn't feel sorry for the girl and still find the story hot, I would have had to stop reading spanking stories years ago.

@HH-- Um, are you sure it's wise to try to bring back EJ's mojo by threatening her with a *hairbrush* of all things?

Paul said...

EmmaJane, this is not uncommon, I wouldn't worry, your mojo will return.
It's a low energy time of year, you will be fine.
Warm hugs,

Pandora Blake said...

I blame the cold. It's not easy to feel horny when you're shivering.

Don't fret it - your sexuality will wax and wane in its own time. You are more than just your kink, but equally your kink isn't going to just go away. Try not to stress about it and let it wake back up in its own time - you may find it happens sooner than you think :)

Rebecca said...

I say don't worry about it or push it and give yourself time. I was a bit like that in December due to being busy, stressed out and upset about various things - not to mention coming down from a certain event in November. The boy interest was actually a bit worried that when we were apart I wasn't asking permission to erm 'entertain' myself but I just wasn't in the mood. Am feeling much more up for it now so I think you just have to give yourself a break - maybe we all need one sometimes? Xx

Caroline Grey said...

Aw, I know just how you feel. It's worrying to go from SuperKinkGirl to fizzle. It stresses me out all the time. I'm one of the least kinky people on the planet at the moment, I think, and I often wonder "Where did that other girl go!?"

But she always comes back in some form, in her own good time. Kinky Bratty Emma Jane is just lurking under the surface, preparing the ambush you at any moment. I just know it.

And I agree about the cold. It takes so much energy just maintaning our body temperature there's nothing left for anything else. Just be really nice to yourself. Spoil Emma Jane a bit and who knows how she might react?

EmmaJane said...

Thanks for all the support guys, means a lot to be able to speak freely on here :) And yes I'm sure it's a sign of being worn out and the battle to get to and from work in the snow.

And of course being the contrary so and so I am, now that the snow threatens to ground me in Dublin I suddenly want a spanking!

@HH duly noted Sir :-p

@Indy, I didn't mean a vanilla reaction, more that I couldn't see any appeal in the stories at all. I usally do feel sorry for the girl but I always want to be her, whereas this time I thought feck that what a ridiculous scenario :)

Jessica said...

Sweetie, I am a bit late with this comment, but I echo Paul - you just have lost your mojo a bit. What you need is not lots of brutal beating, but lots of hugs and cuddles with the occasional over the knee smacking for a naughty girl - but only to show people care. So just take it easy, hmmm?

Also, Rebecca and I were planning lots of nice things for the February weekend tonight, so you can look forward to that!


catherine said...

The mojo is a funny thing, it comes and goes at will. I agree with Jess to an extent - start with fun - but knowing you, the adrenaline will start flowing and schoolgirl EJ will be back before you know it.

Big hugs sweetie, and good luck with the travelling this weekend, hope you make it over! (And I can't wait to see you soon - yay!)


Abel1234 said...

A bit belatedly... but here's hoping that the craving to be spanked will follow once you've had the hugs that you need after a tough and tiring start to the year.


MecIrlandais said...

Agree about the cold putting you off any sort of play, kinky or otherwise. Though there is also the thought that a good 'workout' will raise the temperature but it's getting the whole thing started which is the problem!

As you kinky EJ, she will be back with a vengeance, of that I have no doubt.