Saturday, January 8

Happy New Year to You and to Me!

Well this is quite tardy indeed, but Happy New Year people! Please forgive me for being so remiss lately. I took the Christmas break seriously this year, catching up on sleep and friends and myself and although I have so much I wanted to share it felt good to be offline.

As is my way now that I've started up again there are sure to be several blog posts to come this week as I share my Christmas exploits. These included amongst other things a Regency Ball, a Sailor's Orphan being tested, New Year's celebrations with fizz and friends and a trip to the Trinity Library where Casey and I let our imaginations run riot!

However that is to talk of blog posts future, for now I merely wish to reflect on the year that's been and the year that I hope to have ahead. As my blog has hopefully borne out 2010 has been a wonderful year for me kink wise. I've been to several fantastic events; some repeats such as Lowewood and Lord Fawcett's House Party and some brand new like Finishing school and the Shamrock Spanking Society party.

And whilst I've become closer to my existing kinky family and circle of friends (you all know who you are) I've also widened that circle and met some fabulous new people too, from both sides of the water and across the big pond too. With these people came new conversations, confidences and experiences both of the kinky and the non-kinky variety. It also brought new play and I can safely say this year I have done scenes which pushed me to the extremities of my capabilities to bear, both physically and emotionally.

In my personal life the year has been up and down. Work has been horribly stressful, involving very long hours for various reasons. This coupled with continuous travel back and forth has made me rundown and easily susceptible to colds and bugs, meaning I've been sick far too often. And I have struggled to balance all aspects of my life, work, kinky, vanilla and the me-time

I hate to say no to anyone but have often found myself conflicted about who and when and what to visit. I'm constrained by both time and  money and it's been a constant worry that I am letting people down both sides of the water: worried what my family think that if I don't visit as much, afraid I'm losing touch with my best Irish friends, afraid of offending by refusing a kinky invitation, afraid of over doing it by travelling every weekend.

And yet what is the point of worrying about such things? If I decide to live in the moment, then why spend so much time over-thinking my choices? What an earth do I achieve? These are the questions I have asked myself as I ponder my year. Will I change what I do? No, I love my life. So therefore I must stop worrying about such things. Because I am slowly coming to realise that I am putting too much pressure on myself, that both my vanilla and kinky friends understand that I cannot be everything to everyone all of the time. That I can only be me.

Therefore this year I will try to be the best person I can be. The best friend, lover, confidant, roleplayer, blogger, sibling, daughter, worker bee. The best I can be, whilst also being just as kind to ME.


Rebecca said...

Am glad you had a lovely Christmas and New Year (and was lovely to see you when I did!). Being kind to you is important - you can't be everywhere at once - well at least not until they invent time turners for real! It's hard to say no and miss out on things but really important to look after yourself and be well and happy. Because the people who care about you mostly want you to be happy and healthy - that's the main thing :)

Eliane said...

"The best I can be, whilst also being just as kind to ME."

Just make sure you stick to that Missy... OK?! We all love you too much to want to see you getting sick and rundown and stressed. Make sure you put your own needs first. Oh, and Happy New Year.

Kaelah said...

This sounds like a very good and healthy New Year's resolution, Emma Jane! I wish you all the best for 2011 and I'm looking forward to reading more about your kinky adventures. :-)

Henry Higgins said...

This life we lead can be stressful. Like me, you tend to say yes to everyone, in work and in play. Then sometimes we find we've bitten off more than we can chew, and worry about letting our friends and colleagues down.

So here's some advice to both of us: lighten up. Our real friends will understand when we feel stretched and the email replies come slower than they might.

Are you going to take the advice, or am I?