Monday, May 17

A Tale of Two Slippers

As I mentioned in my post yesterday I played with the London Tanner at Nimhneach. Amongst his hand and the razor strop, he also treated me to his slipper.

Now regular readers may recall my various descriptions of the slipperings I have suffered at the hands of HH. It is my own personal nemesis, the implement that I fear the most. Guaranteed to dissolve me into tears and howl for mercy if HH chooses to apply it for that affect. It's definitely not fun.

The slipper in question is a brutal men's size 9 tennis shoe. And unfortunately for me the London Tanner happens to own its comrade. The left hand slipper of the pair. I had been warned early in the night that he had brought it. So when the time duly came I was expecting it. In true apprehension I bent over the stool, hands on the seat, my bottom properly out on display. I was scared and I had good reason to be. He didn't disappoint.

It hurt a great deal from the start. Each stroke landing unerringly on the crease between my bottom and the top of the thighs, making me gasp and squirm. Many of the strokes made me buckle in agony. And as it continued I lost all dignity in front of the watching crowd. It was very clear I was struggling, but I wanted to take it, see the punishment through.

I was so relieved when he switched back to the stop that I kept obediently in position until we were done. It was with some awe I later inspected the resulting bruises - it's a long time since I've bruised that badly. What you can't see in the photo are the vivid scarlett bruises on my inner thighs and cheeks.

Although both slippers may be identical, the experience with their owners is very different. The London Tanner's had its laces removed, meaning there was no preamble or delay in administering the strokes. Each fell in quick succession and while horrendously hard, not full force so I could take a good number, even if I was struggling for each one.

On the other hand HH takes more time between each stroke. With ceremony he tucks the laces into the slipper, before weighing it in his hand, steps back behind me and administers each stroke with his full body weight behind him, driving the slipper upwards from thigh to bottom. It's very rare I don't jump up screaming at each one and the most I've taken before crying is probably 3 or 4. Unless I'm on an adrenalin high 12 is as much as I can take in any one go.

But either way, whether it's HH with his slipper, or the London Tanner with his, both are a force to be reckoned with. And that slipper will continue to invoke the utmost fear and respect, no matter which of them is yielding it.


Haron said...

Oh, the fun of top comparison! I'm guessing that the difference in slippering styles is due to the fact that (as per definition of Professor Indy) HH is a Headmaster, while the London Tanner is pure Cowboy. :)

Graham said...

I got to sample the slipper (or, as I like to call it, the shoe) on my last trip to England. Not the exact one you're referring to, but one of its shoey brethren. And my reaction was something like... "You have GOT to be kidding me."

Why are shoes so evil?!

Indy said...

@Haron, yup, the London Tanner is the only English Cowboy I know! From EJ's description, I'd take a slippering from the Cowboy over the Schoolmaster in a heartbeat!

Indy said...

Oh, but for the record, I'd prefer the strap from either, thanks.

EmmaJane said...

@Indy LOL I wouldn't dare to say one was worse than the other or I'd really be in for it. Just their styles mean they go about things differntly but both achieve the same painful effect!!

@Graham, yes they are evil! As the Tanner says it's hard to believe boys got caned at school while girls got the slipper - so much worse.

@Haron, yep think you hit the nail right on the head there :)

Master Retep said...

A very wisely diplomatic answer to that last comment.

Master Retep said...

And how on earth could I have forgotten this amazingly timely link from Lemonyhead Footlocker Ad

Anonymous said...

I see Indy you would, would you? "pure cowboy"eh Haron? I find ones style varies with ones environment and Niehmneach is a loud noisy fun setting, with music blaring. Hardly conducive to a school type slippering but I am sure in the very near future we can accommodate all you "Young Ladies" needs...