Wednesday, November 3

With love from me to me...

I came across a wonderful book last weekend: With Love from Me to Me, letters to my sixteen-year-old self.

Written by some very well known Irish people it’s a collection of letters they were asked to write to their younger selves, from the perspective of where they were now. The proceeds from the sale will go to the Irish Youth Foundation.

It’s a really beautiful book and most the of letters are very touching, as the older selves recognise the confused young people they had been and try to advise and reassure them.

It really struck a chord with me and at the end of the book they suggest the reader should write their own letter. I couldn’t resist. 16 is such a turbulent time as you change over into adulthood. You’re doing your final exams and preparing to leave home, your hormones are going wild, your body is changing and you start to experiment. Add in kink to that mix and it’s a minefield.

So below is the letter I would write to my 16 year-old self. I would really love to hear what you would have written too, so please share either in the comments or on your own blogs.

Dear Me

First off you really need to figure out a decent wardrobe. Your younger sisters will put you to shame at that age. You have the best figure you’ll ever have in your life, make the most if it! Bright blue flares and orange shirts are not a good look on anybody.

Also EJ please stop worrying so much. Things will never get better between your parents, you can’t fix them and you can’t protect your brothers and sisters forever. The lying awake at night worrying and listening for the rows will ruin your ability to sleep for years to come. They are the adults here, leave them to it. They’ll eventually sort themselves out. OK yes, the worst will happen but then it will all get better, I promise. No amount of worrying will sort it though, so stop.

But here’s what I really want to talk about. The secret; those feelings inside that you can’t even put a name on. The reason why you still love reading Chalet School and Road Dahl and Enid Blython. Of course all in secret. And how you feel funny when you see spankings and canings on TV. Not to mention the things you do in bed on your own when you have those thoughts. And then feel bad about it, cos you’re weird and it’s wrong.

Well EJ you’re not weird, you’re just a kinky girl. And you’re not the only one either. There are loads of us kinksters. You probably won’t believe this but when you get to college you’ll discover the internet and find sites like the Treehouse, and read about people that will make you feel so much better about yourself and what you’re feeling.

And it gets better EJ. You’ll also actually get spanked for real! Someone (actually several someones, you’re a total spanko tart) will take your knickers down and spank you. And cane you. And tawse you and so and so on. You’ll be able to act out all those fantasies you’ve ever had. You even get to go to a proper school, just like the one you’ve made up, with a proper uniform and strict teachers and canings in detention.

And best of all you’ll met a fantastic group of friends along the way. Who not only indulge your inner brat and desire to play out your fantasies, they’ll actively encourage it ;-)

And one day you’ll tell your best friends about this and they will be OK about it and not think you’re weird at all. But the bossy older sister won’t go anywhere either. You’ll still be determined and in control of your life. That’s good, but you’ll be happier, less at war with yourself and others.

I wish life could be like this for you right now, but afraid you still have a lot of growing up to do and you won’t believe what I tell you now anyway. I know you, you have to experience it all yourself. But please EJ, stop worrying and thinking so far ahead, live in the moment.

Oh and just one more thing – you know how people tell you to calm down, and relax and complain you have too much energy? How they say you’ll grow out of it? Well you won’t and don’t be ashamed of it! Your energy and enthusiasm will stand to you in life, your career and your friendships.

Love and hugs

An older, wiser, brattier EJ xx

Ps Life will work out much better for you if you quickly develop an allergy to the touch of a rubber gymshoe on your skin!


Simon said...

And I thought it was just me that used to read Roald Dahl over and over. (Especially certain parts of 'Boy' and Danny The Champion Of The World.)

Rebecca said...

This is quite beautiful and very heartfelt. A really good thing to think about - once I have t'interweb at home again I'll try to do mine xx

Casey Morgan said...

I think this is possibly the sweetest thing you have ever written. I wish you could write to my 16-year-old self!

Kaelah said...

Your letter is really fantastic and very, very touching, Emma Jane! Thanks for sharing such a personal and intimate piece of writing! :-) I don't know whether I'll find the time to write a letter of my own and I'm not sure whether I would like to post it (though I guess that if I write one I'll end up posting it as well), but you definitely gave me some thought-fodder!

Abel1234 said...

This is such a beautiful touching, moving post.

Not that I would encourage 16 year olds to read kinky blogs, of course, but I hope that someone out there needing support and reassurance will take inspiration from it, too.

Love xxx

keira said...

that's beautiful! i want to write my own now ... only i'm not sure i can remember that far back!

Indy said...

Such a lovely post, EJ! I really felt for your sixteen year old self and her sense of responsibility for problems she could never solve. I'm not surprised she turned out so wonderfully in spite of not having the benefit of your wise words, but I am very glad!

EmmaJane said...

Thank you all for your lovely comments. This was meant to be a light post but actually turned out deeply personal for me, so your response means a lit.


MsReflections said...

Wonderful, heartfelt, touching, all as has been said before.

Thank you.

EmmaJane said...

Thanks again for the lovely supportive comments.

And in an amazing turn of events I've had an email from the editor of the book telling me how much he liked it too. I've very humbled :)

Kaelah said...

I've finally published my own letter and some thoughts that went along with it. It's not as touching as your letter, but I'm an INTJ, so what can you expect? Thank you for all the thought fodder, Emma Jane! :-)