A day of punishment

As I write this I'm wearing a very unflattering dress and white knee socks. I'm also sitting very tenderly: my bottom is red and sore from multiple spankings and strappings. I'm resolutely blogging and my phone and knickers have been confiscated. You see today has been a day of punishment.

It's one that I asked for, but that HH has dictated. Borne out of me being rude and snappy over the past day, saying hurtful things and generally being damn right unpleasant. Even in play, I've been a nuisance, whining about my spankings and actually storming off in the middle of two of them.

It makes for a poor guest and an even worse play partner and I don't want to be either of these things. Yes, there are underlying frustrations and stresses and we've been talking them over, with HH as ever sympathetic and pragmatic. But we both agree it's not a justification for being a bitch. And we both want and need me to be in a more accepting and safe place. To enjoy the week ahead on holiday and the many fun scenes we've planned.

So a discipline fetish really does come in handy sometimes. My day has been mapped out completely; a series of chores and tasks assigned. As you can gather this was my time for blogging. Although I lacked motivation initially an OTK slippering (junior version, not senior) provided what was missing. 

I can already feel myself back on a more even keel and the change in my attitude is very apparent. Asking 'May I, sir?' for every little request makes one very humble. Being spanked for every minor infraction makes one much less likely to snap. And having all the control taken out of the day makes it both stress free and belittling. Not to mention in this frame of mind I want to please HH, I want him to be proud and recognise I'm trying to make amends.

I know I'll go to bed sore, but happy and calm and grounded again, in my happy disciplined girl place. And tomorrow I'll be ready to be in control of myself again; a happier, freeer me.