Saturday, June 27

Discipline Fetish

My post yesterday describing my first mouth soaping resulted in a few comments on the horrors vs hotness of it. I started to comment in response and then realised I needed a whole post in itself to explain.

Personally I had always been curious about it and since HH knew this, it was bound to happen in at least one of our scenes. So I figured I'd try it once and never want to do it again. But that wasn't the case. I'd certainly submit to it again.

Now don't get me wrong, the whole thing was horrible. The soap was disgusting and I had to suffer through the whole scene feeling and tasting it in my mouth. And even afterwards when I brushed my teeth I could still taste it for hours. Ugh!!

I also feel the same way about hand tawsing. I hate it so much at the time. Having to hold out your hands for each stroke. The unbearable pain and the lasting burning afterwards. Plus there are only so many strokes you can take. Your tolerance never increases, your hands don't warm up to let you take more. Each hurts more than the last one and you can't be stoic and unflinching.

So why would I willingly do both of these horrible things again?

HH and I discussed this at length and we came to the conclusion that it's because both really appeal to my discipline fetish. I want to be a good girl. A well-behaved girl. A disciplined girl. Even before I knew I was into spanking or had any spanking thoughts at all I was obsessed with rules and discipline. My earliest fantasies were of people being subjected to lots of rules. Being obedient. Being disciplined. An interest in the physical act of discipline came much later.

For me mouth soaping and hand tawsing are both very pure forms of punishment. Like writing an imposition or standing in a corner for a long time, or being sent to bed early. Yes the thought might be hot but the reality is not! For me, this is real discipline.

Then there's the sense of shame that goes with these punishments. The inability to be brave. The absolute unpleasantness of both. And for me they are non-sexual compared to other punishments on my bottom, breasts etc. During those punishments I often feel a huge endorphin rush and usually don't want the scene to end until we've played for a long time or I've been taken to my limits.

With pure punishments I want them to end as soon as they start. I don't want to extend them and I won't purposely misbehave to get such attentions. So I feel truly punished if my mouth is soaped out or if my hands are tawsed. And being truly and deservedly punished is at the heart of my discipline fetish.


Eliane said...

Interesting analysis of why these things work for you. I think I don't have a discipline fetish. Or possibly I do, but I'm still enough of a wimp that a "good" caning can still totally be a "pure" punishment for me.

Paul said...

EmmaJane, an interesting and succinct explanation of your punishment fetish.
Put that way I can see why this is not a limit to be pushed.
Warm hugs,

Jessica said...

Can I give you a hint?

Lemons. As soon as the mouth washing is finished, suck a lemon (obviously without the dom seeing!). Takes the taste away totally. I learnt that off the lovely Mrs Knibbs, the Lowewood cook and it has been my friend on several occasions!

Soap is alkali you see and lemon acid. The neutralize each other ;)

Angie said...

I very much understand what you were saying. Although I do get punishment spankings, the other traditional types of domestic punihsments, are also horrid,and effective.

Even in the various spanking vids, you see that the models who hardly even flinch at a Serious spanking, are fussing, dancing in place, hands fluttering desperately as they get their mouths washed out.

Always enjoy reading your blog, you write very well.


MecIrlandais said...

A wee bit of science is always welcome, thanks Jessica, all the better if it's Chemistry rather than Biology or Physics. Anyways...

That does explain it EJ & shows why it is person specific. We all have our fav implements but can take a certain amount of almost any one really. But no amount of mouth soaping works for me!

Julie said...

Well-written and interesting post, though I'm still certain I would never want to get a mouth soaping. *shudders*
Hmm, that makes me want to investigate upon whether I have a "pure discipline" fetish at all.

Abel1234 said...

Jessica's comment intrigues me: I am now imagining a girl being caned for sucking lemons. And I'm not sure whether that's entirely far or not. Oh, hang it, of course it'd be fair...

kannakat said...

Mouth soaping? I bet you were foaming at the mouth! LOL!
But all well written and interesting, I think you describe the dynamic very well...kannakat

EmmaJane said...

@Jessica, thanks for that tip! Shall be certain to smuggle lemons around wit me from now on. And funnily enough I actually like the taste of lemons...especially with tequila ;)

@Abel I shall contain my repsonse to that comment by merely making faces and gestuers I know you can't see!

@everyone else thanks for the feedback, sometimes I'm not sure that what I write makes any sense except in my own head!!