Thursday, June 4

Vanilla Flavours

I know there's much debate over the term vanilla and how it's used to describe non-kinky folk, but I for one quite like it and find it very fit for purpose.

Over time I've gone from a 'take it or leave it' attitude to vanilla flavours, to a complete dislike. Why choose vanilla when you can have yummy chocolate or tangy raspberry or bitter lemon or sweet orange? Vanilla just seems so bland and unsatisfying when you've experimented.

Similarly my kink has developed along the same lines too. From tolerating vanilla sex and partners, to being less and less interested, to where I am now: totally allergic!

So on my last vanilla date, with another of those eligible types my friends set me up with, I thought it only fair to at least test his level of vanillaness before I waved him bye.

Unfortunately he failed the first test spectacularly when I pointed out a group of hot girls in school girl uniform and his only comment was "oh, not another hen night". The second test didn't go much better when I ordered a cocktail, grinning that I felt like being naughty. He merely smiled and told me "sure why not". And it was all over when he ordered his dessert: ice-cream, vanilla flavored.

PS if you're reading this Mr Dateman and you're actually a complete pervert do let me know!


Saffron said...

Oh that is Awesome! I agree on the vanilla flavoured thing...I always add something to my vanilla icecream! Lol

MecIrlandais said...

Vanilla is a valid flavour too, as long as it's not your only flavour!

Don't be too hard on him for the hen party comment, they are very irritating & don't get me started on stag parties.....

I agree that vanilla is a valid word, as long as it's not used as an insult or a put-down.

Rebecca said...

I agree, though vanilla does have it's place in ice-cream sundaes to tone down the more powerful flavours, or when you just feel like cuddles and niceness sometimes :) As for dates with eligible men organised by friends run like the wind!

ruaidh said...

One little small thing though EJ
I find that when one goes on a journey about which one is passionate, it becomes easier to think less of other peoples journeys. When I came out as kinky (oh about 15 yrs ago), I remember being so in your face about it.....I now know I may well have been ramming my sexuality down my friends throats (not literally youll be glad to know!!). Dont be too hard on the oul vanilla's, they might not know any better

Kami Robertson said...

I feel sorry of course for your unsuccessful date, but I can't stop smiling at your attidute towards vanilla things :) I so much agree, why have vanilla while there is so many other, more interesting, options ;)

Abel1234 said...

Great post.

I do find "vanilla" an interesting word, though, Because vanillas don't use it. (At least not when talking about anything other than ice cream). So if someone in my non-kinky world uses the word "vanilla" in a conversation, it's an interesting signal that they might, in fact, be one of us!

EmmaJane said...

Hmmmm think I need a follow-up post at some stage. I'm not at all anti-vanilla, just more that when it comes to sex and life partners I can't imagine being with someone who's not at all kinky ;)

McDuff said...

I think that it's very ironic that the word "vanilla" has come to mean bland and boring. As a cook, you realise that vanilla itself is an incredibly strongly flavoured spice - this is obvious when you think that vanilla-flavoured ice-cream is white, but vanilla itself is black! You use it in similar quantities and methods as you use pepper or chillies.

And what's interesting is that what most people think of as "vanilla flavoured" ice cream hasn't seen a vanilla pod in its life. If you ever try real vanilla ice cream made with an egg-yolk-heavy custard, you'll realise that what you've been having is a very poor imitation.

I'm not sure what this culinary observation has to do with the sex metaphor, but I think it's worth pointing out anyway. :)