Monday, June 1

Stepping Stones

Like most other kinksters, the Internet has played a huge role in my kinky development. For many the journey starts at typing your fetish into Google and then sifting through the wealth of information that comes back.

There then comes a point when you have to take that huge step and move offline if you want fulfillment. I consider myself very fortunate to have made that leap to where I am today; having the kinky time of my life.

Over the years certain websites have really helped to shape me kink wise. Reassuring me that I'm not 'weird'. Informing me. Helping me to explore and define what my kink is. Aiding me in accepting what I need and deciding the life I want. And most importantly, enabling me to make connections and friends that make that life possible.

This is not intended as a definitive list of the best spanking sites or blogs out there, but an acknowledgment of the part they played in bringing me to where I am today.

Pablo and Mija's Treehouse

I still remember the day I stumbled across this site back in 2002. I had only recently started my furtive searches for 'spanking' and most of what I came across was porn or stories unrelated to my kink which put me off .

The Treehouse was a ray of light: the first site I ever read that made me feel good about my kink. Reading Pablo and Mija's stories I felt such a connection with what they were doing. What they were describing was exactly what I wanted for myself, spanking in the context of a loving relationship. Equal partners with mutual respect, agreed rules and discipline.

At the time I was seeing a vanilla boyfriend who was open to spanking me even though it wasn't really his thing. I sent him links to their stories to help explain what I wanted when I couldn't articulate it properly myself. And they helped us to make it work.

Even though they don't update the site anymore, I continually return to it and read the stories over and over. It's still one of my favorite sites and a very happy place to hang out.

Spanking Writers

This site needs no introduction! It was the first blog I ever read, in fact when I came across it, I probably didn't even know what a blog was! Not only was I enthralled by the subject matter, but the opportunity to peep into a kinky couple's life.

I quickly realised they had lots of friends who connected through the site. Sometimes reading the comments was just as much fun as the posts themselves. It all pointed to a wonderfuly kinky life. One led by intelligent, regular people able to discuss all sides of their kink, from roleplay to real life to literary and historical references. It was comforting to think they were just normal people who were into spanking; just like me.

Spanking Blog

SpankBoss posts about all sorts of spanking related activities, not just CP and roleplay, so it helped me understand what else was out there. Once I discovered this site it became my gateway to so many other great sites. I still check in every so often to see what's new in the spanking world: so much easier than looking myself.


So for years I lurked on spanking sites, watching from a safe distance. Sometimes obsessively reading for days on end and then being offline for weeks or months. But eventually the kinky call got stronger and reading was not enough: I needed more.

Then I discovered Spankfinder. Set up by Bethy (Dan's partner from the Spanking Blog) it's a personals site for meeting spanking friends and potential play partners. Having read Dan's blog for years I felt brave enough to put up a profile.

To my amazement there were already Irish people on the site, not that many but enough to confirm I wasn't the only spanking fetishist in Ireland! And there I met Frank and then Caroline. They were my first proper kinky friends and introduced me to the Irish scene. Since meeting them I haven't looked back :)


Finally to a site that I'm a huge fan of. Without it I wouldn't have made many friends outside of the Irish BDSM scene. While I've always been shy of posting on blogs or heaven forbid emailing the writers directly, I have no problem connecting on Fetlife.

So it's quite fitting that because of Fetlife I finally said hi to Abel and Mija. In a way I like to think it all came full circle; a full kinky circle.

1 comment:

ruaidh said...

Hey Emma J
Nice to give us your kinky journey and to see you enjoying it. Reminding me of myself in older days, although Ive had a bit more of a tortuous path. In a semi vanilla marriage for quite some time until I realised something didnt really fit (do not go through that, not good for the soul). Then a meeting with a thorough submissive and havent looked back, despite, like all good things, that coming to an end too. Ah well. Important to be positive in these things, and, yes the internet is a good thing to remind one that there are still plenty of we pervs about. It can be a wonderful life, bringing us out of the ordinary and mundane, but our difference can feel isolating at times too unfortunately.