Saturday, July 11

Brats, bratting and bratlashing

Jessica has written some posts recently about different types of subs in scenes; brats in particular. It's a very intersting topic and she makes a good point about how brats can ruin group play for everyone else by monopolising a top's attention and never letting up on the bratting or letting anyone else get a look in.

It got me thinking though. Do the brats know that they're annoying? Am I such a brat? Would someone be kind/brave enough to tell me if I was?

It's often very hard to see yourself how other people see you. So how do these brats know that their behaviour is pissing everyone else off? They're having fun and the tops playing with them are having fun too. They don't necessarily stop to think that maybe the other subs/bottoms aren't actually having an equally good time.

I would hate to be thought of as an obnoxious brat, but I know I can be quite the brat at times. And I don't even have to try hard to be that way. It's my natural extroverted personality and it comes across as much in my vanilla life as in my kinky life. When on form I have boundless energy and I don't hold back on anything, nearly always saying whatever comes into my head or acting on sudden impluses. In any scene or situation this usually gives toppy types more than enough excuses to deal with me, should they so wish.

At the same time I hate the thought of making anyone feel uncomfortable and I consider myself very sensitive to other people's feelings. But what if I'm not really? Maybe I'm missing the glares and mutterings and the general 'get off the stage' vibe that's emanating from the rest of the group.

So when I hear other people commenting on how much they dislike brats or how annoying they are, my paranoia kicks in. I can't help but think that I'm exactly the type of person they are talking about.

I am always disgustingly eager to play. I don't have the luxury of playing when I want to, so really look forward to my play opportunities. And in the heat of playing, I'm not necessarily wondering about everyone else. Which yes, is quite selfish, but not at all intentional.

So maybe do the brat a favour and tell them where they are going wrong. Maybe they can learn to tone it down, or maybe they're just not suited to group play. But don't let them ruin everyone else's fun either.


Jessica said...

Hey hum, reading this, I'm glad we chatted the other night :)

First of all, no darling, you are not a brat, you are just naughty. And you make me laugh in group play!

I think it's true to say that brats don't always realise the extent to which they are bratting, because it's how they work and there is nothing wrong with how they work.This is fair enough. And a word in the ear will often suffice (if it's your party, if it's not your party, you must cope with it!)
There is a difference between being extrovert and being a brat. And you are certainly the former, not that latter!

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've ever actually met anyone I would term a 'brat' - are they really that common?

Poor you feeling a bit paranoid, Emma Jane. Although I've never met you, it doesn't sound like you're 'selfishly trying to take play away from other people' or anything like that. You sound, at most, a bit boisterous and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (And Mr B did tell me that a certain pink slip session was made more enjoyable by the girl in question being 'a bit bratty' ;) ).

And, now I'm going to be a bit controversial and say, that if people at these parties concentrated more on having a good time themselves, rather than grumbling about what everyone else is doing, maybe everyone would be happier and have more fun. Because, basically, having fun is (I imagine) what these events are all about!

Master Retep said...

Maybe what you describe requires some "safeword" for tops to use in a role play situation when they want to talk out of role, since "I mean it" will only result in a "No you don't", "Yes I do" descent in pantomime spanking farce.

Eliane said...

I think I get a bit worried as well. Like Emma, I can be very "banter-y" in real life, it's how I interact with a lot of people. It's often hard to stop my mouth making a smart comeback, and this sometimes can become even more apparent when I'm in role, especially as Jemima. So yeah, I worry that I'm a brat. But then I think about parties, and I'm generally the one sitting fairly quietly and shyly in the corner till someone drags me out of it, so I don't think I'm a brat. Verbal banter is more my thing, I suppose, rather than out and out boisterousness. Anyway, it's Saturday, so I'll stop being paranoid now.

Paul said...

EmmaJane, from what your friends say, I don't think that you have any reason to worry, and no reason to be paranoid.
Thinking about the Fiona Locke affair, Jessica is a very good writer??? I wonder.
See how your friends love you, fifty comments, WEG!!!
Warm hugs,

Hulahoop69 said...

Hey Emma,

Long time no speak eh! :)

Definately agree with what Jessica said in her blog, and what your saying here. Those with an over-active 'bratty' personality, do sometimes hog the limelight in a group play scene.

Obviously nothing wrong being bratty for a short while, at least until reprimanted by the top (or teacher). It can be a good ice-breaker and might encourage other smaller personalities in the group to open up and do something similar. If everyone does it a little bit - it makes for great fun for all.

If however one person was continually bratty, and obviously seeking the attention of the top, while the rest of the group are sitting bored, this is no good.

For me, its up to the top in those situations to correct it. Even if part of the play, it can be simplep enough to give a type of warning that wouldn't be out of place in a schoolroom scene for example - "If I have to speak to you again, you'll be put outside the room / in the cupboard / in isolation for half an hour". If the constant brattyness continued after this, then the consequence would have to go-ahead. As the bratty one is put away in isolation, it might be worth telling them (in a scene sort of way) "they are selfish, and not allowing the other pupils any attention" (or similar).

Almost all subs will agree, that when they want attention and / or a spanking, the worst thing the top can do to them is ignore them. Thats what should happen in these situations. It allows the rest of the group some fun, doesn't detract from the scene play, gives the right message to the bratty sub and HOPEFULLY discourgages them from doing it again (or at least makes them stop when the warning is given).

So yeah...from what I know about you, it doesn't sound like your overly-bratty. Everyone should be a little bratty, and you've probably got it just about right. :)

Speak soon!

Ross x

Kami Robertson said...

I know that one situation makes me hardly qualify to answer the question....but... ;) If you have monopolised that day I wouldn't like you as much as I do, you sick girl :)

Dante d'Amore said...

I've always loved brattiness. It gives me reason to live. ;)

EmmaJane said...

@Jessica, me too, this post was written in a fit or paranoia ;-)

Thanks guys, and glad to know I'm not the only one who worries about these things.

Welcome to the blog Ross!