Tuesday, July 28

One of those moments

I was at a party with some vanilla friends lately. Lollipop was there too and we were all having fun, drinking lots and getting very giggly and happy. Then one of our friends (Fi) came running into the kitchen yelling that she needed a wooden spoon and opening random drawers. As she rummaged we enquired what she needed if for and were answered with a very giggly 'to spank Suzy', before she found a spoon and went running out to the garden.

In amusement we trooped outside to see Fi and Suzy posing for spanking photos. Suzy was bent slightly over and making the most wonderfully exaggerated expressions while Fi held the spoon behind and pretended to be whacking her. The girl taking the photos was being berated for not getting the spoon into the shot. It was all very light hearted and everyone roared with laughter.

I still have no idea where the inclination to pretend spank each other came from. I was far too conscious of not being overly interested in the goings on and I couldn't look at Lollipop at all. I suddenly felt very strange and ridiculous and unbelievably embarrassed. I know I have no reason to be, that I do what I do because I want and need it.

And of course the girls had no idea that they were making me feel uncomfortable and it's not like they were making fun of me. But sometimes the absurdness of this spanking thing hits me and throws me off balance. And I wonder what the hell I'm doing and what would vanillas like these think if they found out.

Happily my internal freak out didn't last long and I was distracted by moving on to more fun things, like cremating chicken on a overly flaming bbq and laughing as Lollipop singed her hair. But I'm sure it won't be the last time I have one of these moments and I had better get used to getting over them.


Master Retep said...

I've noticed that too. It is bizzare that we are the ones who get all squeamish and evasive when presented with our kink by vanilla friends. Are we terrified that an internal expert will jump out of our mouths and start showing off? I think we adopt such avoidance for tha same reason that an alcoholic must avoid the first sip of a drink. If you had even taken hold of the spoon at that party, you risked outing yourself, or at least that's how it feels. And just backtraking with vague "O I read something once" will only make the hole deeper.

But you're also very perceptive - why should little objective flashes of TTWD in a vanilla context be so upsetting? Perhaps its because the whole scene is, by definition, emotionally and physically intimate. Amongst ourselves, we understand the core role of respect and vulnerability. When we see Hen Party re-enactments, that closeness is completely absent. That kind of play almost makes a joke of what we hold important. I believe that that's why you felt uncomfortable.

Paul said...

EmmaJane, Master Retep has really said it all.
I suspect that many of us would feel a little uncomfortable when a vanilla lampoons that which we hold dear.
Have you ever thought just how funny some of our most intimate moments would seem to an uninvolved observer.
Warm hugs,

MecIrlandais said...

The ubsurdity of it all does hit me from time to time but I, like yourself I suspect, put that to the back of my mind & just get on with it.

Without the prescence of Lollipop I hope you would have been in the middle of it getting all the fun details of why this was taking place!

Unknown said...

I’m sure there will be many more of these situations for you in the future. I know I feel it when vanilla friends mention anything to do with spanking. It was just 4 weeks ago when attending a work social that involved everyone in costumes that I suppose I got a bit ‘edgy’ at the sight of one of the 20 something girls from the office dressed in a school uniform posing for a mock spanking. It is a very powerful thing this stuff!!

Pandora Blake said...

I was about to leave a comment saying, "see, stuff like this proves that even vanillas are a bit kinky, we're not as unusual as you'd think" but actually, I think Master Retep is right. Finding public, casual displays of this sort of thing uncomfortable is probably what defines a genuine pervert: someone for whom it is serious and real enough that they don't want it bandied about by those who don't understand.